Thoughts of The Past
by Shell-Shocked-NinjaTurtleGal
Summary: Star Wars Rebels verse! Kanan finds his young Padawan and friend, Ezra, lost in sad thoughts of the past. With the help of Hera, Kanan helps his Padawan get through the darkest day of the year for him: the anniversary of his parents' disappearance.


**Hi! So, here's yet another Star Wars Rebels story! It's full of family/friendship fluff between Ezra, Kanan and Hera! The one thing that sticks out to me so far about the series is that the Rebels crew is like a family, so I just can't help but put that in my stories!**

**In this story, you'll notice that there's no mention of nighttime or daytime! The explanation for that is simple: they're traveling in space, where you can' really tell which it is or isn't!**

**All the SW:R oneshots I've writen so far can be seen as standalones, or as connected to one another! All up to the readers preference, really!**

**If one of the characters seems OOC, or if you have any plot ideas for my future stories, or just want to tell me you like the story, I'd love to know!**

**Disclaimer's on my profile!**

**Please enjoy reading!**

* * *

><p>The ship known as the <em>Ghost<em> drifted quietly through the dark expanse of space. Most of the inhabitants were asleep, the controls set on autopilot, allowing everyone precious sleep.

Except for one.

Young Ezra Bridger sat in the briefing and strategy room, the lights off, staring out the window that was set into the wall on his left. His bright blue eyes were dim with thought, his hair messy. His Padawan braid was undone (something he had to do earlier when he'd had to clean off in the wash-racks), and his young face revealed sadness.

The lights above suddenly flickered on, making the teen jump. He was surprised to see Kanan standing in the entryway, leaning against the metal frame. The man's brown hair wasn't tied back as it usually was, and so it hung loosely about his jaw. He wore had discarded his usual, armored top for a simple bed shirt. Judging by his slightly misted eyes, he had been sleeping.

"Kanan?" Ezra whispered, confused. "What're you doing up?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing." The man replied, pushing off of the entryway frame and entering the room. "I thought you would be asleep, like everyone else."

Ezra shrugged, sitting back down, gaze turning to the window once more. Kanan frowned slightly, worry furrowing his brow. He made his way to the teen, sitting in the seat beside him.

"What's wrong? An argument with Zeb or Sabine?"

The youth hesitantly shook his head, raven hair falling in front of his eyes. Kanan thought for a moment before trying again.

"Did you break something again and decided to hide so you wouldn't get in trouble?"

Another shake of the head. Kanan sighed, running a hand over the top of his head, moving strands of brown hair away from his stormy green eyes.

"Well that's all I can think of this second. Can you help me out here?"

Ezra laughed slightly, but it lacked any joy or amusement.

"It's nothing, Master. I'm fine, I'm just not tired is all. Sorry if I woke you up somehow."

A long moment of silence fell, Kanan studying his young student's face. Something was definitely wrong, and Kanan knew he wouldn't get any sleep until Ezra told him what bothered him so.

"You didn't wake me up, not really anyways. I sensed you were out here and got nervous, knowing how you like to cause trouble." He chuckled as Ezra reddened slightly with embarrassment.

"I don't _like_ causing trouble." The youth insisted. "It's trouble that likes _me_."

Kanan grinned, leaning forward slightly, elbows resting on his knees as he tried to see Ezra's turned face.

"Either way, I thought I'd check and make sure you were okay."

A strained smile pulled at Ezra's lips.

"I'm not hurt, if that's what you were thinking."

"So something _is_ wrong, then." Kanan concluded, fingers threading together, grin falling from his face and replaced with a calm expression. When Ezra didn't reply, the man sighed. "You can talk to me about anything, you know that, right?"

The teen pursed his lips, nodding jerkily.

"Yeah...yeah, I know."

"Then talk." Kanan insisted, resting a hand on Ezra's thin shoulder. "And I'll listen."

An expression of sadness mingled with hesitance on Ezra's face. He opened his mouth, but no words left, so he shut his mouth, swallowing the lump in his throat. Kanan waited patiently, giving his Padawan time to find the words he needed to say.

"I've just been out here, thinking." The teen finally said slowly, mulling over his next words. "I noticed today's date, and it reminded me of stuff that...That I really want to forget, but can't."

Kanan raised a brow, taking a moment to remind himself of the date before inclining his head, silently asking Ezra to continue. Bright blue eyes locked on the window, staring out at the star-filled expanse of space.

"It really is nothing for you to worry about. Nothing important." The youth insisted. "It's just..."

Kanan could see that Ezra was struggling as he tried to finish his sentence. The teen's hands were shaking slightly, and his face was pale. Kanan squeezed his student's shoulder supportively, and when electric blue eyes turned to him, he met the gaze evenly, nodding his head in a silent message.

'_I am listening_.'

The extra support seemed to do the trick. Lips pressing into a thin line, the teen finally finished his sentence.

"It's just seven years ago today, my parents disappeared."

Kanan felt his heart just about stop, his face falling dramatically. Of every possibility he'd thought of, that was not one of them.

Licking his lips nervously, Ezra continued, voice wavering.

"I-I know it's p-pretty stupid, it's j-just sometimes...Sometimes I wonder..."

He didn't finish, so Kanan did so for him.

"Wonder what happened to them."

The teen nodded shortly.

"Yeah."

Kanan blew out a shaky breath, burying his head in his hands. His thoughts were scattered now, and he had to force his mind to calm down so that he could plan out a course of action. Before he could, though, Ezra began talking once again (though perhaps rambling would be a better term).

"I-I mean, they could've been killed, but their bodies weren't found if they were. A-and I know that everyone on Lothal thinks they just managed to get off world, but they would've taken me with them! They loved me, I k-know they did! I was their k-kid, there's no way that...no way that they..."

A choked sob then left the teen's quivering lips. He hugged his knees to his chest, burying his head in his knees. Kanan jumped to his feet, quickly moving to sit on his knees before the teen. He hugged Ezra, letting him cry into his chest as he petted the teen's raven hair, murmuring soothingly.

"Kanan?"

The man's gaze flickered to the entryway. Hera stood there, confusion and worry on her delicate face. Her eyes turned to Ezra, whose cries were muffled by Kanan's shirt. She, like him, wore a simple comfortable top made for sleep. Her lekku were draped over her shoulders so that she wouldn't sleep on them.

Kanan grimaced while the Twi'lek moved over kneeling down beside the two human males. She lay a hand on the teen's back, sending Kanan a questioning look, silently asking what had happened.

With a sigh, the Jedi carefully pulled Ezra away from his chest.

"Let's go to the mess hall. I'm sure some food will do you good."

The teen nodded, wiping away the tears on his cheeks. He allowed Kanan to help him up, and the three members of the crew left the briefing room.

Ezra was silent the whole way, which worried both Kanan and Hera (usually the problem was getting him to _stop_ talking). The two adults exchanged a look.

Once reaching the small mess hall, Kanan had his Padawan sit down. Hera sat beside the teen a hand rubbing soothing circles into his back, and Kanan began to fix up something for them all to eat.

"So what's wrong?" Hera asked softly.

Miserable blue eyes turned to the Twi'lek woman, a frown on the youth's lips.

"Nothing, it...It isn't important."

Kanan turned slightly, giving his young friend a stern look.

"It is, despite what you think." He jerked his chin in Hera's direction. "Tell her. Or I can, if you want."

The teen groaned, resting his head on the metal table before him.

"I don't even want to think about it, let alone _talk_ about it!"

Kanan grimaced sympathetically, turning back to the food he was preparing.

"I know, but it won't get any easier to handle unless you face it head on, kid." He then turned to Hera, face serious. "Today is seventh anniversary since his parents disappeared."

Hera's expression fell, sadness crossing her face. She turned towards Ezra, holding him close as he struggled to fight back tears.

"Oh Ezra..." The Twi'lek murmured.

Ezra gratefully accepted the comfort, as he had when Kanan offered it, and hid his face in the pilot's shoulder. The smell of oil and metal, now known as a soothing scent to Ezra, was a great comfort.

Kanan's features softened, and he smiled slightly.

"They didn't want me..." Ezra suddenly whispered, voice wavering as he squeezed his eyes shut. "Mom and dad...I thought they loved me, but they left me behind..."

Hera swallowed the lump in her throat, biting her lip and holding the teen that much closer. Ezra hugged her tightly, his shaking hands clutching to the back of her shirt.

Kanan quietly moved over, setting down a large plate.

"Get some food in you, Ezra." He murmured gently. "It'll help you feel better."

The teen nodded, pulling away from Hera's embrace. He wiped off his dampened cheeks with his sleeves, then tucked into the meal. Kanan remained standing on the other side of the table, leaning his arms on the edge, and Hera took a spoon and helped Ezra eat the meal.

"You hope that they were kidnapped, or that you'll see them again someday, yeah?" A nod from Ezra, and Kanan sighed, rubbing at his chin thoughtfully before slowly continuing. "But the thing is, you have to realize, if they...abandoned you." He spat the word out as though it were poison. "Then they were idiots."

Electric blue eyes shot up to look at Kanan in surprise.

"H-Huh?" Ezra managed, nearly choking on the food in his mouth. Hera smiled slightly at Kanan's word choice, nodding.

"He's right, Ezra. If your parents purposely left you without guilt or remorse, then they don't deserve your kind thoughts."

"Not that you should think of them with revenge on your mind." Kanan quickly interjected. "More of you just shouldn't think about them at all. Besides," The Jedi grinned, winking at Hera. "You've got us now! Right Hera?"

The Twi'lek nodded, grinning.

"Right."

Ezra looked down, pushing around the food on his plate with his spoon.

"I know, and you guys are awesome, don't get me wrong. I just...I wish I knew what happened for sure. I was seven when they disappeared, but I remember them clear as day. I can close my eyes and see them, every _detail_."

"I would wonder too." Hera admitted, nudging his shoulder with her own. "But you might not ever know. It's time to move on, Ezra."

Kanan hummed in agreement. Ezra opened his mouth to protest-

"Ezra."

The teen looked at Kanan. The man leaned down slightly to be eye level with him, and his green eyes met Ezra's blue gaze evenly.

"She's right, Padawan."

"But I can't just _forget_ them!" The youth protested. Kanan shook his head.

"I'm not asking you to. Don't _forget_ them, just take all your worry and sadness and anger...And let it go."

Silence fell for a long few moments, in which Hera and Kanan stared at Ezra, while the teen stared at the table, eyes dim with thought. He then nodded.

"I...I'm not sure if I can. But I'll try, Master."

Kanan smiled, patting his student's shoulder.

"And we'll be here to help you."

Hera nodded in agreement, gripping one of Ezra's hands in her own. Her warm, callused palms were soothing to the youngling, and he didn't move away from the motherly gesture.

"You can come to me any time, you should already know that." She said, smiling. "Even to talk about your parents, your past. There are no secrets between us, Ezra. No conversation goes beyond this ship."

Kanan grinned.

"Yeah, no kidding." He chuckled. "We couldn't tell anyone about you even if we wanted to! We're Rebels, we talk to anyone and we're bound to be thrown in an Imperial brig!"

Ezra winced, remembering the last time they'd been caught, and how they'd learned the Emporer was interested in his strength in the force. Hera gave Kanan a look, and the man sighed, running a hand over his head, pulling his hair away from his face.

"Alright, wrong choice of words."

For the first time in hours, Ezra smiled, and _laughed_. His eyes, once dim with sadness, were back to being bright, and shining in a way that made them look like they sparked with electricity.

"Thanks, guys." He said, turning a shy smile towards Hera, then Kanan. "I feel a lot better."

"Good." Kanan replied. "Come to me next time you have a problem. I'm your Master, it's what I'm here for."

Ezra feigned confusion.

"Really? I thought it was to train me so I don't accidentally bust the windows again when I meditate."

Kanan rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, that too." He admitted. He then yawned. "Alright. I don't know about you, Hera, but I'm going back to bed. C'mon, Ezra, I'll walk you back to your room. You need to get some rest."

The teen huffed, but stood.

"Okay." He muttered grudgingly. Kanan moved around the table, resting a hand on Ezra's back, at the base of his neck.

"Sleep well, Ezra." Hera said, smiling at the youth. Ezra beamed, waving as Kanan led him towards the hall.

"You too!" He called, letting Kanan guide him along. The man paused at the entryway after pushing Ezra out, and he glanced back at Hera. He winked at her, causing the pilot to smile.

"See you in a couple hours."


End file.
